2012

A new year. Hard to believe. I remember last year thinking, "we just have to make it through 2011". We knew it would be a hard year financially because I wouldn't be working and Mike wouldn't be contracting (paid differently and a raise) until 2012. I also was babysitting full-time and that had it's own difficulties.
Once again I can attest though..God is good! He took care of us and provided each month. Even when we weren't sure how it was going to happen. Thank the Lord. He provided so sufficiently I was able to go down to part-time babysitting in August, which turned into babysitting only a couple days a month. There were so many things that happened in 2011 that we are thankful for...and we look forward to 2012 and the blessings it will bring.

For the past couple years I have tried to have a "word of the year" instead of setting a new year's resolution. Last year my word was "knowledge". I wanted to dig into the scripture and learn more about God and his character. I was dwelling on the fact that I wasted 7 years of my life (college and couple afterwards) not deepening my relationship with Jesus..so instead of continually regretting those decisions I decided to do something about it. I committed 2011 to reading christian books, reading the Bible, getting in a bible study, memorizing verses and listening to christian radio. I learned a lot, and have a much more passionate and deeper relationship with Jesus. I still have a long ways to go and want to continue on my journey, but I feel like I have a good start.

My word for 2012 is "gentleness". I just finished the book "the excellent wife." There were several verses that stuck out to me while reading it that made me what to strive to be the "suitable helper" God desires for me to be as a wife.

Proverbs 31:10: An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels." 

Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. 

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. 

Proverbs 12:4
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” 

Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger"

These verses are so strong and I certainly don't want to be like decay in Mike's bones!  So many marriages are destroyed by hurtful words. Mike and I have a wonderful marriage. I love him more than I did the day we got married. We enjoy spending time together and  we have had very few fights during our 3 years of marriage. But I think it's important to continually evaluate where your marriage is before it's going downhill.

We watched a movie last week called "crazy stupid love" and one of the story lines was about a couple who "fell out of love". So that movie spurred this conversation about how easy it is to get caught up in your kids and not take time for ourselves. All of a sudden 20 years has gone by and we don't have anything in common anymore and don't know each other. So then the divorce word comes up. Obviously that's not an option for Mike and I. But I don't want to settle for a boring relationship either. I want him to be excited to come home from work. I want us to share new experiences together and with our growing family. I think it's the little things that happen everyday that hurt the relationship you long to have with each other.

A subject that Mike and I have talked about in the past is my tone of voice. When we disagree I can be kind of stubborn and have a tendency to want to be right. I tend to get defensive and sarcastic pretty quick. I also, like many women, use a tone of voice when I am irritated that isn't very gentle.  It's something I am aware of and something I pray about each day. So this year my goal is to be gentle in my words and actions. I want to be a blessing to those I am around...and especially to Mike.

It's funny how when you are praying about a sin in your life and are trying to recognize when you do it..it seems like it happens all the time! I am continually catching myself be sarcastic. I don't want to necessarily take out all my sarcasm because that's how my family and Mike joke, but I also want to be more careful in how I use it. So that's my 2012 word and thoughts that lead up to choosing that word. What are your resolutions/goals for the year?