**Focus**

2013. It's a big year. I turn 30. Mike turns 30. I will have a one year old and a three year old, and God willing I will have a newborn. Here I am writing my blog about my "word of the year" and in doing that I am already off track. I so easily look ahead, plan, and get caught up in the details. And although I know it's not necessarily bad to plan ahead, many times I lose focus on what's really important. I've chosen a "word of the year" for a couple years now in order to sum up my goals into one word. So this year I chose the word FOCUS. I had been contemplating and praying about what my word should be. Last year my word was "gentle" and I felt like I wasn't very successful in carrying it out. I kept it in mind all year, it's not like I just forgot about it, I just don't feel like I am a more gentle person. I had a couple experiences in the recent that have made me be more aware of the fact that I still need to be more careful in how and what I say. Because of that, I thought about either keeping the word "gentle" and trying again, or changing it a little bit and use the word "empathy". But I just wasn't happy with it. I was driving home from the YMCA the other day and praying about my day and for my family and all of a sudden it hit me. I asked God to keep me focused on him and a light bulb came on and I realized that's what I really needed to do in order to succeed in anything.

 

It's funny because the past couple of months I've had Hebrews 12:1-3 hanging on my fridge. It was a verse we talked about at MUMS, my moms bible study, that really spoke to me. And it really fits with my word this year. The verse says,

12 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ^{2 [a]}fixing our eyes on Jesus, the ^[b]author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

³ For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary ^[c]and lose heart.

I love how it reminds us that there are others that have made it to the finish line. I imagine them looking down and cheering me on. I like the word picture from, "the sin which so easily entangles us" because that's exactly how it feels. A sin can start out so small and turn into something that enslaves us that we can't get out of. We get so tangled up we can't see anymore. It's such a good reminder to keep our eyes on Jesus so we don't get caught up in those sins. And then the cross. He endured it all. He has felt the feelings that I feel. He loved me so much while I was still his enemy that he died for me. Knowing all of this I can be strong in him and not grow weary or lose heart. It's it a beautiful verse?!
So this year I want that to be my focus. HIM. When he's my focus I will be gentle with my words. I will enjoy the moment and not strive for the next thing to make me happy. I will see others through his eyes. I won't get caught up in material things. I will put others before myself. I will forgive.

The first thing I have committed to do in order to keep my focus on him is to consistently do my devotion at the end of the night. I am trying out a new plan on my Kindle Bible, called, "100 days of discipline." It's a chapter a night, so far I've gotten through the first 7 chapters of Matthew. It takes you through the gospels and Acts, and has 2 days off to give you a chance to catch up if I miss a day. I've tried to get through the gospels before and haven't made it. So I really hope I can this time.

I am also started a new book with MUMS called Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. It's about our emotions and how we can deal with them instead of stuffing them down and then exploding. It will help us understand what kind of "reactor" I am and how to improve my communication. I am looking forward to this book because I think it will help me with my goal of being gentle and careful with my words and tone of voice.

We are also taking a class at church and we are practicing finding the exegetical idea of different passages in the Bible. I have really enjoyed studying the Bible in this way. I haven't been exposed to this before and it's been really interesting. I hope that as I understand how to read it better I will get to know Him and his will for me even better.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me and for my family this year. I want to take one day at a time. Get to know my Savior even more. And focus on Him the author and perfecter of my faith. Does anyone else have a word of the year? I would love to encourage you and cheer you on throughout the year with your word!  I'll keep you updated on how this is going for me!!

9 months old

He's grown into such a little man! He's definitely far from little though! He's showing off his personality and it's been so fun to get to know him. He is the happiest baby. He has the cutest smile and loves his mom, of course. Both my boys do. We call it piranha hour when they both want me at the same time. Usually after nap time or at dinner. It can get a little hectic if you don't plan ahead a little! It can get a little overwhelming when they won't go to someone else for a little while, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I know that the day will come when they won't want all my hugs and kisses. So I try to keep that in mind on those days that I feel like I can't breath!

Here is what Eli's been up to this past month:



-Weighs 21.4lbs and is 30.5inches. Seriously growing like a weed.

-He slept through the night 4 days this last week! Went to bed at 8 and got up at 6:45. I had to give him his binky around 1:30, but I can't complain. It was so nice to sleep so long!

-He eats all the time still. He switches between nursing and baby food every 2 hours! When he was sleeping through the night I was down to nursing only 4 times a day though. So that would be nice if he'd ween himself of that feeding! We'll see.

-Wearing 12-18 month clothing! I swear he is going to catch up with James!

-Talking so much. babble babble. He says, "raaraaw. dadada. bababa" It's so cute how he will have conversations. He looks at me and babbles waits for me say something and then goes on again.

-Loves puffs. His hands get going when I pull them out! Within the last 2 weeks he's been able to feed them to himself. It's so helpful in keeping him busy when I need to get stuff done!

-Not doing any sign language yet. There for a couple days I thought he was doing drink, but he hasn't done it in the past week. This is about the time with James that I was like, "seriously, is there any point? I don't think he's ever going to learn it." And then around month 10 he did his first signs. So we'll see if Eli picks it up in the next month or two.

-Wakes up from naps so happy! He is smiling and so happy to see everyone. It's cute.

-Has started to try to go from sitting to all 4's, but can only get onto one knee before he gets nervous and sits back down. I think he will take off pretty soon. It's so funny to watch him. He wants to go, go, go so badly and chase James. It's just so much to coordinate when he's so long! He has pulled himself up a couple times. But he loves to stand. It's funny, if you try to put him down to play he stays stiff as a board so that I don't sit him down. He wants me to stay and help him stand and play.

-Doing a pretty good job of pooping on the toilet. He gets on there about once a day. He of course still goes in his diaper other times, but it's just about practicing and getting on there if I catch him pushing!

-The boys have been passing a cold back and forth. It started as croup with Eli. Then James got a bad cough and a runny nose and now Eli has horrible congestion. Neither one are completely healed up.

The boys are so cute together. They are both so sweet. It's so fun to see the different personalities God gave them. I try to pray often that they will grow up to be best friends. I long for them to follow Jesus and not have to take the long way through life. I know Jesus loves them even more than I do and wants the best for them also. So I pray God equips me each day to teach them how much they are loved and the sacrifice God made for us. I want them to know the character of God and not just the "rules" he's set out. I have learned that because God loves us so much he has set those guidelines for us so that we can live a life of freedom and not as a slave to sin. I used to think the rules were restrictive and fun sucking. How my experiences have taught me otherwise! It's just amazing how much my perspective changed on different things once I had my boys. I can understand God's love a little bit more; the reason he was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. I pray my life is a reflection of His love for me so that others, my boys included, can experience this freedom.

That was a random bunny trail, but it was on my heart this morning. Maybe it's the lack of sleep from last night..but I thought I'd share it! I know I'm not the only mom, dad, aunt, or grandma that thinks about this for their babies! What are some ways you try to make God part of your every day with your little ones?!